


Fusion is a Metaphor for Sex

by AvecPlaisir



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F, Human AU, there's no actual sex in this, they're just talking about sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-17
Updated: 2015-12-17
Packaged: 2018-05-07 05:21:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5444711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AvecPlaisir/pseuds/AvecPlaisir
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pearl and Amethyst have a frank discussion with Greg about the nature of the human!gems' sexual relationships with each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fusion is a Metaphor for Sex

**Author's Note:**

> Another pure procrastination piece. I'm really fucked.

"Hey guys,” Greg said. He had spotted Amethyst and Pearl sitting closely at the kitchen table--heads bent, whispering furiously to each other--and had decided to join them. “What's going on? What’re you talking about?"

Pearl flushed slightly, and pulled away from Amethyst. “Greg,” she said stiffly. "It's nothing."

“Yeah,” Amethyst agreed. “Just fighting over who gets to do the do with G tonight.”

“ _Amethyst_ ,” Pearl snarled.

“Aw, come on P, we’re all adults here.”

“Wait—” Greg said. “G? As in Garnet?”

“Yep,” Amethyst popped the ‘p’. “You got it.”

“You’re fighting over…?”

“Who gets to fuck her tonight.”

“ _Amethyst_ ,” groaned Pearl, covering her face with her hands. “That’s not even correct,” she said through them.

“Um, _yeah_. It is. That’s exactly what we were just talking about.”

“No,” Pearl said, “ _Garnet_ gets to decide if and who she does anything with.”

Amethyst rolled her eyes. “You know what I meant! About who gets to ask.”

“ _I_ know what you mean, but I’m not sure _he_ does, and since _you_ decided to bring him into this conversation I want to make it perfectly clear that we respect Garnet’s bodily autonomy.”

Amethyst rolled her eyes, this time at Greg. “This is why Garnet should fuck me, because Pearl would waste the whole time talking.”

Pearl rubbed her temples. “Feel free to leave this conversation at any moment, Greg.”

“Aw, come on,” Greg said good-naturedly. “We’re friends right? We can talk about these things. I mean, I’m sure Rose tells you all about our—,” he trailed off as Amethyst shook her head and Pearl put up her hands.

“Please,” Pearl said. “Stop talking.”

Amethyst sniggered.

“Oh, um,” Greg hesitated. “Sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it, man,” Amethyst said. “Pearl just kind of hates you.”

“ _Amethyst_!”

“Kidding!” Amethyst said. Then she looked meaningfully at Greg. ‘Not kidding’, she mouthed.

“Maybe I should leave after all,” Greg said, standing.

“Wait, Greg,” Pearl said, slowly and awkwardly, face pinched as though each word were causing her physical pain. “Please, don’t…leave…because of me.”

Amethyst sniggered again.

Pearl took a breath, and when she spoke again her words sounded more sincere. “Really. I don’t hate you. I don’t understand what Rose sees in you, but I don’t hate you.”

“Um,” Greg said. “Thanks?” He sat back down again.

There was an awkward pause.

“So, um, why don’t you guys just do each other?” Greg asked.

Amethyst burst out laughing. “Yeah right!”

Pearl pinched her nose. “Amethyst and I don’t really… _do_ that together, much.”

“Only when we’re both super horny and our only other options are like a stapler and a cactus,” Amethyst clarified.

Pearl buried her face in her hands again.

“And then,” Amethyst continued, thoughtfully, “it’s not that satisfying. Like either it’s over way too fast or—”

“I think you’ve said quite enough, Amethyst,” Pearl cut her off sharply.

“And it’s not like that with Garnet?” Greg asks.

“Nah, Garnet is awesome.”

“What’s so great about her?” Greg asks.

Pearl and Amethyst both turned to look at him flatly.

“You’ve never slept with Garnet, have you?” Amethyst said. “Wait. Don’t answer that. That’s a dumb question.”

 “Dumb because I don’t know her that well, or dumb because she’s into women?”

“Both. _And_ because Rose would kill you.”

“What?” Greg seemed surprised. “I mean, not that I would ever try, but I thought Rose had multiple….you know…..”

“Fuck buddies,” said Amethyst at the same time that Pearl said “Partners.” Pearl glared at Amethyst.

“Hey, I’m just keeping it real,” Amethyst said.

Pearl growled.

“The point is,” Greg said, cutting into their fight before it could escalate, “I mean, I just thought Rose would be okay with—I mean, with you guys as you are and everything—I mean, you guys are…you know….”

“Lesbians?” Pearl asked, eyebrows coming down, at the same time that Amethyst said “Hot?”

“No—I mean, yes, but what I _meant_ was—aren’t you all into polyamory?”

Pearl and Amethyst squinted at him.

Greg seemed uncomfortable. “I mean, like, with each other?” As Pearl and Amethyst continued to stare, he said, voice rising in pitch, “I mean, you both keeping talking about sleeping with Garnet, and you’ve clearly slept with each other and Rose, and—,” Greg was becoming very red in the face.

“Dude,” Amethyst cut him off. “Just because we fuck each other doesn’t mean we’re polyamorous.”

“It….doesn’t?”

“Nah dude! It just means we’re super close. Like, _super_ close.”

“It’s rare that I say this, but I’m inclined to agree with Amethyst,” Pearl said. Her eyebrows came down. “Though I suppose it would depend on what you mean. Polyamory means a lot of things to a lot of people—and so does ‘love’ and ‘relationship’, now that I think about it.  If we’re really going to get into it we should first establish—“

“ _Yawn_ , P,” Amethyst cut her off. “No one cares.”

Pearl frowned. “He asked a question, I was just trying to answer it as clearly as possible.”

“Why?” Amethyst demanded. “He don’t gotta to know us like that. It’s not like he’s gonna _join_.”

Pearl put her fingers to her lips. “I suppose you’re right.”

“I’m sorry,” Amethyst said, putting her hand to her ear. “What did you say? I didn’t catch that.”

“You’re _impossible_.”

“Regardless,” Greg said. “Why would Rose kill me if I were to theoretically sleep with Garnet?”

Pearl scrunched her nose at the mental image.

“Cuz once you go Garnet you never go back,” Amethyst said. “Even Pearl knows, and she’s in _love_ with Rose.”

Pearl stiffened. “ _Amethyst_.”

“Just telling it like it is, P,” Amethyst said. But she lost her flippant attitude as she saw the look on Pearl’s face. “Aw, c’mon, P—he probably already knows! You’re super obvious about it!”

“Maybe next time you ‘tell it like it is’,” Pearl said, shaking, “don’t mention things that _don’t concern you_.”

“It doesn’t concern me?” Amethyst repeated. “Are you kidding?”

“I don’t have the energy for this,” Pearl snarled, getting up. She stalked away.

Amethyst groaned and slammed her head down the table.

“I shouldn’t have said that,” she muttered. She looked up. “Can you just…forget I said that? And, like, never mention it to her ever?”

Greg put his hands up. “Already forgotten.” He put his hands down. “Though I did kind of know already.”

“Yeah, I know,” Amethyst said. “It’s super obvious. Which is why I don’t see why she gets so bent out of shape whenever—” she kicked the leg of the stool she was sitting on. “Whatever.”

The silence stretched on, and Amethyst’s mood wasn’t improving. Greg cleared his throat.

“So…” he said awkwardly. “You never did finish explaining what’s so great about Garnet.”

“Oh, yeah,” Amethyst said, perking up a little. “Well, what I was _trying_ to say is that Garnet’s just really good in bed. Like the best I’ve ever had. Pearl would back me up if she hadn’t gotten all huffy and left. Like, even though she’s totally crazy for Rose, Garnet is just objectively the best when it comes to whacking the hacky-sack.”

Greg mouthed ‘whacking the hacky-sack’ to himself.

“So that’s why I said Rose would never in a million years let you sleep with Garnet. Cuz you’d never forget it. Like, I don’t think she’d come right out and say ‘you can’t sleep with Garnet’, but I definitely think if the situation ever came up and, like, aliens invaded Garnet’s body and made it so that she was willing to sleep with a dude, Rose wouldn’t be down.” Amethyst squinted at him. “She’s like, weirdly into you. More than I’ve seen her into anyone. It’s weird.”

Greg thought that over.

“I think I’m just having a hard time understanding,” Greg said slowly, “how someone can be that good at sex. Like, are there special moves or…?”

“What? No, man!” Amethyst laughed. “That’s funny.”

Greg ginned a little, but then his grin fell. “But I am actually asking.”

Amethyst put her chin on her fist. “Hmmmm,” she hummed. “How do I explain? It’s like, not just the physical stuff, like the touching the right places or whatever, though she’s definitely good at that too. It’s more like—you can tell she really cares about you, and she asks you questions about what you want even if you’ve been doing it for the last five hours and she’s very upfront about what she wants you to do, and it’s just like—a really positive experience every single time.”

Greg thought _that_ over.

“Wait,” he said, “does that mean Rose is always thinking of Garnet?”

“Oh definitely,” Amethyst said. “Rose loves fucking Garnet.”

Greg looked a little sick.

“But don’t worry dude!” Amethyst said. “Rose hasn’t been screwing around with any of us since you and her became serious. I told you, she’s weird about you.”

“But,” Greg said, “if Garnet’s as good as you say she is, then I must be disappointing in comparison. Right?”

“I mean, logically, I guess,” Amethyst shrugged. “But I don’t think it works that way when you’re like. In love or whatever.”

“ ‘In love or whatever?’”

“Well, yeah, it’s kind of like what Pearl was saying earlier. Like, what does being in love even mean?”

“You’ve….never been in love, Amethyst?”

“I don’t think so,” Amethyst shrugged. “I don’t really believe in the concept.”

And Greg thought about that too.


End file.
